July 8, 2023 - Intimacy

Dizang asked Fayan, “Where are you going from here?” Fayan said, “I’m on pilgrimage.” “What sort of thing is pilgrimage?” “I don’t know.” “Not knowing is most intimate.” Fayan suddenly had a great awakening.

—Book of Serenity Case 20

Knowing is a disease. How can you know the reality of your self if you’ve already decided what you are? How can you make deep contact with people and places without first letting go of your assumptions? What kind of a genuine response to them could you hope to have? Without a genuine response compassion can never be carried forth as medicine into the world. Maybe the only kind of knowing worth its salt is knowing the already stated is already stated, knowing delusion as delusion.

Where is the gate through which everything in the world is always fresh, new and intimate? What is the walk which leaves no tracks? If you want to see what’s never been seen you have to go where no one else can go. Isn’t it obvious? No one else is seeing this world but you, so what is it really?

This gate of self-seeing is precious beyond measure. It is the posture of total abandonment to the evidence of my own reality, alone and only. Before it nothing is real. When inside of it all thoughts and forms are empty of themselves. On the other side of it everything is real.

I would say to treasure this gate but then you’d try to open it, and that won’t work. In reality it is a gate without hinges, but also no lock. You cannot open it because it’s already open, and you cannot close because it’s not open. Talking about open and closed is wrong, but ignoring the reality of open and closed misses the point.

Just turn to face the reality of your own natural seeing and let go completely. It’s the most obvious thing in the world that we all spend untold eons of effort avoiding. All of this effort for what, what has really changed? If you want to know the taste of true transformation it’s waiting for you right here in the space behind your eyeballs; perceiving and reflecting the world at the same time in this endless dance of Creation. There’s no “out there” or “in here”, no difference between you and the world, nothing to know and no one to know it, just this; what could be more intimate?